Acceptance: Its Significance in Our Daily Lives

Acceptance is not a mere word found in the dictionary. In

reality, it has a great impact on our lives as well. There are

times when we watch others’ lives and the ups and downs

they go through and think that we will never experience

anything like this. But what we tend to forget is that life is

very uncertain. It can throw us into many such

unforeseeable circumstances without any prior

intimation at any time, thereby making us quite

vulnerable. With profound sadness, we start thinking,
“Why am I suffering?” or “Why am I going through this

terrible heartbreak?” or “Why me always, God?” etc. Now

is the time when the term ‘acceptance’ comes into play.  

WHAT IS ACCEPTANCE?

The term acceptance is a noun that has several meanings. In

our day-to-day lives, acceptance means accepting every

aspect of our lives, whether it’s our poor health, bad

relationships, unstable financial conditions, financial losses,

unsatisfactory jobs, past pain, horrific experiences, etc. In

human psychology, it means to accept all the negative

emotions and thoughts like exasperations, guilt, anxiety,

shame, anger occurring at the very moment due to various

reasons like poor performance at work, facing rude behaviour

from your loved ones, making mistakes, etc. By accepting

these emotions and thoughts, we save ourselves from feeling

miserable and anxious and turning our past pain into

permanent suffering. As a result, we feel calm and at ease.

Thus, the way we embrace various negative situations and

emotions in different phases of our lives can be defined as

acceptance.

WHAT SIGNS INDICATE A DEARTH OF ACCEPTANCE?

 

There are many signs that strongly suggest a dearth of

acceptance in our behaviour:

Negative emotions and behaviour:

• We become furious with the outside world and feel that

we are deprived of our rights.

.

• We take responsibility for all the negative things that are

happening to ourselves. In other words, we are always in

self-blame mode. 

• We have a sense of impasse, as if our lives have reached

a dead end forever, which can never change for the better.

Thus, we feel very helpless and wish that our lives would get

better.

• Out of extreme depression, we may also resort to alcohol

and drugs to get relief from the situation.

Negative thought process:

• Oh God! This is very unfair, or this is not right.

• Why am I facing such problems?

• Things ought to be altered.

• I can’t take it anymore.

• Why is everything going this bad?

Negativity in relationships:

• Over expectations from your partner.

• Continue pestering your partner, hoping they will change themselves according to your wishes.
• Feeling bitter by remembering the hurtful incidents that occurred between you and your partner in the past.
• Bear anger and resentment. Expressing disappointment and disapproval over your partner’s selections and decisions. 

WHAT ARE THE CAUSES BEHIND NON-ACCEPTANCE?

Certain causes are responsible for the non-acceptance of some individuals. For instance, some people think that by accepting the situation, they are forcefully agreeing with what has happened to them. Again, others avoid going through the pain that comes with acceptance. The main issue here is that by refusing to acknowledge our pain, we are preventing ourselves from experiencing the happiness and peace we truly deserve.

HOW TO PRACTICE ACCEPTANCE IN OUR DAILY LIVES?

Acceptance is a skill that gets better and better every day with regular practice. However, we should follow the important steps while practicing acceptance to enhance our skills further.

• Observe your resistances to acceptance- First and foremost, you should observe and identify the resistances that are coming when you are trying to accept your situation. More precisely, pay attention to why you can’t accept a certain situation in your life.
• Embrace the reality- Embrace the reality where you are currently. Instead of avoiding it, keep reminding yourself about the reality that is not in your control, the reasons behind it that can’t be reversed by any means.
• Distinguish your role- Try to identify the role or part you have played in your current circumstances, like the good or bad that led you to your success or failure, to find the best possible solution to your situation.

• Recognize your mistakes and rely on your skills- You must recognize and admit your mistakes in a given situation because your failures are not the end of your life, but there are innumerable chances of learning and realizing your amazing inner strength to cope with and control your failures and to know that you are the one who can alter them. So, choose what matters most and concentrate on that.
• Discourage being a victim of biases- Stop building castles in your dreams and start creating a life of your own by understanding reality. Feeling like a victim of bias actually prevents you from seeing the real world.
• Accept hardships in your life- Make hardships and challenges a part of your life and try getting comfortable with them since hardships teach you a lot and present many opportunities to succeed in your life.
• Self-acceptance to achieve your goal- Embrace yourself, know your good and bad qualities and work on yourself relentlessly without self-blaming. Build your confidence and self-esteem, take small steps as your success stones and reach your ultimate goal.
• Practice relaxation and awareness- You can view your emotions in a safe manner by engaging in practices like awareness and relaxation. Take note of how you are experiencing emotions in your body, whether you are feeling pain or constrictions or constraints in your body while feeling your emotions.    
• Lifetime commitment to the practice of acceptance- Remain committed to your practice of acceptance throughout your lifetime, even at the time when you experience the urge of resistance emerging within you.
• Identify the right and wrong acceptance- You must be aware of the differences between positive and negative acceptances. If you accept situations where you are in a toxic relationship where you are disrespected and mistreated, humiliated and exploited at the workplace, lack motivation in your present circumstances, or do not support or speak up for yourself, you are practicing wrong acceptance. However, embracing certain situations where you are coping with a breakup, a sudden loss in your job or life, horrific experiences like negligence or child abuse, being unable to move on, etc. and practicing acceptance is totally right.

THE ADVANTAGES OF PRACTICING ACCEPTANCE

The advantages of practicing acceptance in our lives are:

• Acceptance enhances our skills in finding solutions to various problems in our lives.
• It makes us aware of the fact that some situations can never change, thereby preparing our minds to embrace every hard situation in life.

•  It strengthens our emotional and physical health as we no longer stress ourselves by being in a denial mode and pushing away from negative situations.
• Acceptance nurtures positive and healthy relationships.
• Acceptance makes us aware of our strengths and weaknesses and helps us judge ourselves better, through which we can make wise decisions by thinking logically and sensibly.
• Acceptance frees us from overthinking and unnecessary tension.
• It gives us feelings of gratitude and inner peace.
• It contributes to our sense of control, i.e., controlling our attitudes and actions in each and every situation.

CONCLUSION

Life is quite mysterious and unpredictable. It can either surprise us with abundance or shock us with difficulty. However, good times and dark times always come in phases, so we should keep ourselves prepared for facing any challenges in life. The practice of acceptance gives us a positive approach to our lives by keeping us grounded and engaging us with reality and the actual world. So, if we accept our true selves, we will undoubtedly accomplish our objectives in a constructive way.